


What Are We?

by Kobuntan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mention of Death, Pain, Reader-Insert, Sad, slight romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4013056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobuntan/pseuds/Kobuntan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everywhere you looked; there was agony, discomfort, distress, grief, misery and sadness. Everywhere you went there was pain, because that's what I, and my comrades, came into contact with. Pain and death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Are We?

**Author's Note:**

> Yesterday I felt a bit sad so I wrote this, does it make sense?  
> I don't own Erwin or Levi.

I looked outside of the window; the sun was already hidden behind dark clouds. Maybe it's one of those days where it feels like it might rain any minute. I continued cleaning my room, it was a small, simple room lit only by candles on the wall. A round table stood in the middle with a white cloth on it, another smaller candle in the center of the table. The bed looked small it was enough for me. Considering how hard it was, it was surprisingly comfortable. The furniture was simple too.

Suddenly, I heard a popping sounds hitting on the parapet. Outside, it was already pouring rain, a shower with lightning and thunder, unfortunately making the late afternoon even more gloomy and dark as it was before. I really liked rainy days, it had a calming effect and I could relax, not talking about the great air after that! A simple thing like that made my day better. For a while, I allowed myself to take a break from cleaning, I moved the chair next to the window and sat down. I was looking out of the window; everything looked so peaceful, well... Only looked. Appearance can be deceiving.  
  
Everywhere you looked; there was agony, discomfort, distress, grief, misery and sadness. Everywhere you went there was pain, because that's what I, and my comrades, came into contact with. Not so much fear, but pain. Pain and death. Each one of these emotions was so close to us, but most of us buried their feelings deep inside and went numb. And I was, I don’t know, somewhere in the middle. Still unsure where I would fit in. I had mixed feelings, yes, I felt sad and I was hurt, but who wasn’t? Yet, I still wanted love, maybe I was asking for much. I had Erwin, but I was unsure if I could call it love.

We never really spoke about it; he did not seem to get into this relationship more as he was now. I believed that deep inside he was too afraid. He was a gifted commander, devout in his faith and farsighted. Each time we returned, his face looked more and more cold and distant, yet he was kind enough to some people. He was so broken that my heart bled for him. He's a man carrying so much grief and pain he doesn't know where to put it all. I wanted to be his pillar, to help him carry his burden but what exactly are we?  
  
Looking out the windows, I'm thrust back into reality. Spacing out was one of my specialities to be honest. A deep sigh left my lips as I stood up, moved the chair back to its original place and finished cleaning as soon as I could. Speaking of cleaning, I wasn’t really fond of it. Although, there was a certain person who despite of dirt, he was a man who liked things clean. I kept my mouth shut and did what I was told to. There were certain rumours about our Corporal, and how he lived back then when he wasn’t in the Survey Corps, but who am I to judge? I could care less where did he come from or what he did before. In this world the first priority was to survive, and well, you had to be strong too. Only the stronger ones could survive, or the ones who had power or money. However, life is tricky.  
  
The rain stopped, it was already dark outside and I just finished my chores. My forehead was soaking wet and to my discomfort, sweat was dripping onto my eyelids! Ah yes, this was the only thing I hated the most about cleaning. I opened the window to get some fresh air, and to get rid of all those weird smelling cleaning products. I was really tired, and I went to take a shower, get into my nightgown and crawled into my bed. Closing my eyes, I felt the cold wind immediately bite into my face and open exposed skin, scratching over with goose bumps.

Damn! I forgot to close the window; I do not wish to freeze to death. With a deep sigh, I sat up and I was about to crawl out of my bed when I heard a knock on my door. I turned my head towards the door and asked who was there.

“Erwin,” he said “may I come in?” polite as always. I agreed and he entered my room, closing the door behind him, I gave him a weak smile. Without asking, he walked towards the window and closed it. He stood there for a while, looking down on me. In that moment he was my biggest hero, I did not have to leave my already warm bed.

“Thank you.” I said, gratefully. He had been strong for so long, never showing an emotion. At times I wondered if I will ever see him smiling. He moved over to the bed, and sat down on it, quite close to me. He leaned closer, reaching out his arms as he pulled me into his embrace, his hands clasped together, wrapping both his arms around me. I believed he was tired, who wouldn't be? After all, he had the most of work to do. After several minutes in silence, he dropped his head on my shoulder. Feeling bad for him, I put my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, slowly caressing his back. Giving him the comfort he needed, and love.

“Why don’t you lie down next to me?” I suggested, leaning my head slightly to the side. I hoped I could catch a glimpse of his face, but I didn't. He nodded his head in agreement.

“Gladly.” Was his response, he slowly released me from his embrace, I pulled away, but just a few inches.  
  
He looked up, stared into my eyes, silence, for what seemed like eternity. As if he was looking for something, I moved my hands off his back. Erwin closed the distance between us and pressed his warm lips on mine as gently as he could. His lips tasted slightly of coffee, and I could smell the scent of wood in his hair. It felt so good to kiss him after such a long time. His kisses became rougher and more intense. Our lips moved together, hungrily and so desperately, each searching for some sort of peace after the hell we had encountered. This might be our last kiss, but I did not want to think about it now.

After a moment I broke the kiss, I felt a big lump in my throat as I wanted to say something, but I didn't. He looked at me, his eyes steady, unblinking. I gave him a weak smile as he leaned closer once again, our lips met again for a few seconds and parted quickly. Then he lay down next to me, I covered his big body with my blanket. Lying there in the dark, I curled up to his chest, his strong arms winding around me.

I loved how high his body temperature ran, which warmed the already cold bed within minutes. I pressed my face against his chest so I could enjoy his scent. In return, he ducked his head so his nose rested in my hair, to inhale me back. He felt so warm and loving now. I didn't understand him sometimes; he was a hard nut to break.

“Good night.” He said in whisper, unsure if I was already sleeping or not. His hand was softly caressing my back; I smiled into his chest and closed my eyes. My mind was starting to feel fuzzy as I was slowly drifting off to sleep and then sleep comfortably through the night.


End file.
